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Three Birds Stoned

by Avem

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1.
AVEM 01:14
A V E M motherfucking bird of prey
2.
Rat Race 02:40
I stuck another rock into the water but the food is just out of reach, these fucking machines I still remember when i got that little morsel after using that stick on those other things Maybe this other rock will work the fuck is going on the food’s in the same place I’ll put another one on top of the first rock i used By god i’m such a fucking genius it’s right there for taking Can’t help but feel like an experiment This life i’m forced to live Isn’t my first choice i’ll make the best of it This cage feels smaller every single day Hear talk about the rat race i guess this is it my life’s stolen away Remember berries in the trees Chewing on leaves to get those little grubs to eat The wind feels a lot like me Pulled each direction never in a rush, exactly where it needs I guess this new life ain’t bad Put in the work and get rewarded just enough to not be sad It’s all okay if i don’t think Put my head down and dance just like a monkey wanting to be free You stole my life from me
3.
Not much I’d rather do Spend days watching with you Our shit’s all in it’s place Let’s find nature’s embrace Let’s go watching Let’s go watching Not much I’d rather do Spend days watching with you Our shit’s all in it’s place Let’s find nature’s embrace Let’s go watching Let’s go watching Until we leave our heads Until we wind up dead, let’s go watching Not much I’d rather do Spend days watching with you Our shit’s all in it’s place Let’s find nature’s embrace Let’s go watching Let’s go watching Let’s go watching Let’s go watching Until we leave our heads Until we wind up dead, lets go watching
4.
Stranded the sky is turning grey The blowing wind it chills me to the bone Depressing it rains another day Don't wanna die so far away from home I've got really shitty luck Mother nature really sucks I'm not gonna die now Dig deep l will survive now Mother nature really sucks Grounded I can no longer fly The ice crystals they chill me to the bone Accepting this twisted cruel fate I'm gonna die so far away from home Never knew how this would end Should have been a better friend Set off my own though Tried to lead by example Should have listened, now I'm dead
5.
There won’t be fighting There won’t be pain There won’t be stress when I’m around You won’t go hungry You won’t be scared You’ll have no problems in the world I’ll keep you safe My little egg Safe underneath My brooding legs You’ll be prepared To spread your wings And make a change You have my word We’ll roam the planet We’ll fly away We’ll leave the oceans in our wake You’ll taste a snapper You’ll round the cape The world will be your great escape I’ll keep you safe My little egg Safe underneath My brooding legs You’ll be prepared To spread your wings And make a change You have my word There’s a hundred million dangers in the world ready to kill you but I’ll stop them Every one I am ready and am willing to eliminate those dangers and I'll peck them til they’re done I’ll keep you safe My little egg Safe underneath My brooding legs You’ll be prepared To spread your wings And make a change You have my word I’ll keep you safe My little egg I’ll keep you safe I’ll keep you safe
6.
Red winged blackbirds are called red winged blackbirds cause they have red wings
7.
No, Homo! 02:27
We never paid attention to the norms of society We like to fuck, don't mean we have to breed When getting offs the game we're always down to play It's not about a nuclear family Cause getting laid is fun and we will fuck all night and day Borrow the homo from homo sapiens You call it gay we call it getting laid If you think queer is anti science then you're wrong and we don't give a shit if you think that we're not okay, we're so okay We know you're wrong Our species only mates for life I'll fuck my man and he'll fuck me all day and night We've got this move you don’t want to miss The ever sensual cloacal kiss Your stupid human arguments we don't understand Because I am a man and I love my man Our kind is everywhere and our breeding friends don't fucking care Borrow the homo from homo sapiens You call it gay we call it getting laid You say that queer is anti science but you're wrong and we don't give a shit if you think we're not okay, we're so okay, we're gay okay We know you're wrong We know you're wrong Fuck you you're wrong
8.
First time I saw it was a couple weeks before it was time to go Looked like a giant yellow moose running easily through the snow Then these two strange things got out They don't have wings or if they do I couldn't tell The weirdest noise came from their mouths, songs like a condo, apartment, and mall They pointed at some trees, like the one where the Murphys had their first home Little did I know the ends already here By the time I got back my world was forever changed The Murphys trees were gone and there were a lot of yellow moose Where I used to sing in the morning now is just a pile of dirt these weird things are all hanging out with yellow moose they're singing apartment condo and mall It isn’t safe for me or my family here anymore Apartment condo and mall I don't know what to do, where else can we go This field and creek and forest is all I've ever known
9.
10.
Just found the place for your new perfect home Safe from the rain tucked in the corner of that stained glass window Collect some grass from that abandoned field I hope the robins ok with how close our nests will be Feels like I’ve done this a few hundred times Sit there for hours making sure you’re alive You'll grow up strong and loud, noble and free And find your own perfect spot just like me One of these days you'll end up just like me The day is here as you break through your egg No time to celebrate I’ve gotta go make sure you get fed Days turn to nights I never get to sleep It’s always worth it every time I hear that little peep Feels like I’ve done this a few hundred times Go back and forth with food to keep you alive (keep you alive) You’ll grow up strong and loud, noble and free (whoa) And find your own perfect spot just like me It’s time for you to go and fly the nest I’ll give you one last meal and sigh as you snuggle in my breast After you’re gone I won’t know what to do maybe I’ll take a trip to Kalamazoo I’ve always wondered if it's all the same For other birds or those weird creatures with the big furry tails Raising your young is not a simple feat Oh my dear son it makes your whole life complete One of these days you'll end up just like me
11.
It’s such a mess I don’t know how you can live like this It’s such a mess I don’t know how you can live like this There’s garbage all over the floor The grass is gone, concrete jungle The water’s brown it isn’t blue There’s barely space for me and you The sky is bright both day and night The trees are dead, so are the mice Cars everywhere, there is no food Nowhere to live, you’re illegal It’s such a mes I don’t know how you can live like this It’s such a mess I don’t know how you can live like this It’s such a mess
12.
Snowy Owl 02:26
You look right at me but you’ll just be looking through me I blend right into boughs and trunks and everything around me It’s safe to look for food you think oh what a fallacy Fatal mistake it’s yours to make and oh it benefits me You think there’s nothing watching you Crossing that field you little shrew There’s nothing really you can do You’ll never see me coming You’ll never see me You’ll never hear me coming Twas oh so fast, whisked away in my firm grasp Life flashes in front of your eyes before you even gasp Who would have thought that old oak tree harbored your end of days Don’t waste your time thrashing about accept cold death’s embrace You thought there’s nothing watching you The other mice they thought that too Your skeleton will join the crew You’ll never see me coming You’ll never see me You’ll never hear me coming
13.
Nigel 01:54 video
oh nigel no mate nigel fell in love with a concrete statue you were lonely oh so lonely now your heart isn't feeling so blue Mana island seemed like heaven when that cold hearted girl came around oh nigel silly nigel no mates nigel You stayed a while attracted by your concrete mate you built a nest and did your best but only norman dropped by we weeded, we painted, we sprayed guano around three newbies arrived, a christmas surprise but suddenly you are gone oh nigel no mates nigel won the hearts of all humans around dedication perseverance alongside you these virtues are found touched the lives of oh so many and your struggles did not go in vain gannets live on mana island once again oh nigel no mates nigel silly nigel oh nigel no mate nigel fell in love with a concrete statue you were lonely oh so lonely now your heart isn't feeling so blue touched the lives of oh so many and your struggles did not go in vain gannets live on mana island once again
14.
Time for me to go get out of here Like the dodo i'll go disappear Step aside you won’t get in my way So much food a thousand miles away Just like a river flows I really gotta go Now i’m here time to stuff my face There’s so much food all over the place Holy shit it’s my good friend joe He flew in from way down below Just like a river flows A thousand miles away from home When you really gotta go Then you really gotta go I really gotta go When you really gotta go you really gotta go
15.
As the wind whispers through the grasp of the last dewy boughs, the prey becomes visible in the moonlight. How wrong it seemed to be free, untethered to the safety of the shadows, clear as doom itself. Get back, I’m flying over you Cause that’s my calling card That fleeting moment of uncertainty grazed my back, as wing feathers tensed in anticipation of glory. Within a blink I was off, gullet agape and claws outstretched, prepared for the final strike.
16.
Martian Wren 02:28
went for a walk with my binoculars hope to see a piper or a meadowlark when i saw it standing there looking at me that fucking martian wren from mars is always haunting me don't you see it standing over there flew up and shit right in my hair it wants inside my derriere oh why oh why
17.
Rotten Egg 03:10
i think it's time to break free break out through the membrane but it stinks what's up with my mommy why's she being shitty just to me i thought that as a child i'd lead a perfect life you'd puke food in my mouth all day and every night we'd swoop through the trees, learn to sing our perfect song i was wrong doesn't matter if you're faberge, cadbury, or in decay doesn't matter what you came from, only who you are all you've gotta do is sing, migrate and become the king of your flock so you can lead them home to start it again all these other birdlings with their opportunities why not me i will try the hardest he who flies the farthest you will see there was a time when i was learning how to fly our parents wouldn't help i can't figure out why never give up and you will surely reach the sky as did i doesn't matter if you're faberge, cadbury, or in decay doesn't matter what you came from, only who you are all you've gotta do is sing, migrate and become the king of your flock so you can lead them home to start it again doesn't matter if you're faberge, cadbury, or in decay doesn't matter what you came from, only who you are all you've gotta do is sing, migrate and become the king of your flock so you can lead them home to start it again
18.
Blue Jay 01:34
blue jay is the bluest bird oh yeah oh yeah cardinal is the reddest bird oh yeah oh yeah but the motherfucking falcon is the coolest bird because it flies real fast fuck the stupid starling right in it's spangled ass robins have the biggest tits oh yeah oh yeah chickens have even bigger tits oh yeah oh yeah but the motherfucking swallow is the coolest bird because it flies real fast fuck the stupid starling right in it's spangled ass shithawks are really awesome birds oh yeah oh yeah turkeys are fuckin silly birds oh yeah oh yeah but the motherfucking swallow is the coolest bird because it flies real fast fuck the stupid starling right in it's spangled ass
19.
Doesn't matter if the sun's out Doesn't matter if it's raining Doesn't matter if my flock is headed south I'll still be singing Doesn't matter if the sun's out Doesn't matter if it's hailing Doesn't matter if a cat ate my true love I'll still be singing

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released August 25, 2022

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Avem Ontario

Ramonescore Bird Nerds from the Idyllic Countryside of Southern Ontario.

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